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Lifes Pretenders
Contributed by
Xmorbid6childrnx
on
Saturday, 4th August 2007 @ 01:47:44 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
Havent Slept for days
Cant keep track of all the things
I think about.
Nothing holds out as long as I can.
I keep breathing in
But I cant seem to breath it out.
Smiles suffocate me with their fakeness.
To many people trying to be happy
But can you show me
Someone that really exists.
All caught up
I feel no release
Its like a death grip.
Fires burn and sexual urges become you
Never really loving
Your lusting.
Its easy when no one looks at you
When you sit awake in the dark
If no one sees you cry
Then it never really happened.
In your case
Life
Its a lie.
In my case
I just dont let anyone
See me cry.
Copyright ©
Xmorbid6childrnx
... [
2007-08-04 13:47:44]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Lifes Pretenders
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Saturday, 4th August 2007 @ 02:47:39 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| this poem is quite different from your wingless angel one. i once knew someone that had a sentiment that was if one cant remember something, it never happened. your bit about if no one sees you cry, then it didnt happen reminded me of that. your ending didnt pack the punch that your other one did. its sort of an openended not really an end for the poem in the readers mind as they wonder why in the world you are crying and so bothered about it "not happening" if others dont see it. then theres the whole your life is a lie bit, after not sleeping for so long you may be believing some lies on that one, ::winks::. keep up the great work though. way to show some variety with your work. |
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Re: Lifes Pretenders
(User Rating: 1 )
by PoeticHybrid on
Saturday, 4th August 2007 @ 03:50:46 PM AEST
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| My nights fighting insomnia have made me think the same things. Thanks for sharing. |
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