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Just a poem.
Contributed by
Butterflygirl40
on
Monday, 20th August 2007 @ 01:37:04 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Dont ever try to hitch a ride.
Because you might just run across a witch.
And the witch will give you a bad itch.
The witch sure isnt rich but she will hit you with a switch.
.
The witch roded on a ostrich.
Then went to good rich.
I dont know which is which but I was so hungry I ate a sandwich.
But after all of this i went and did me some backstitch.
Copyright ©
Butterflygirl40
... [
2007-08-20 13:37:04]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Just a poem.
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Monday, 20th August 2007 @ 02:28:43 PM AEST
(User
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a Message)
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Butterfly...Your write seems so forced in it's rhyming. Witch, itch, switch, rich, ostrich, sandwich and backstitch. Things unrelated that you threw together. If you are intending this more as children's poetry, I would jazz it up a bit. Silly rhyming is very catchy for children.
Remember to write from your heart, sister. Don't force it, just let if flow.
Peace,
Laura |
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