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When Skylines Ignite
Contributed by
gilbert92
on
Tuesday, 11th September 2007 @ 03:56:46 PM in AEST
Topic:
AnniversaryPoems
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When Skylines Ignite
Time ticks on as it furthers itself from the day, we saw explosions illuminate our sky. Time passed, the leaves on trees changed color, from autumn to winter, and from spring to fall. All the while the needles on the clock tick away like an axe against wood. We close our eyes only to look back at the images that were shown on TV, the image of two burning towers, standing there standing there so delicately, waiting for the right moment in time waiting for the lights to go out, for the world to shake, for floors to collide. Then at the right instant like a petal being town from a rose, they fell, as screams rang out over the world only to fall silent seconds after, the sun vanished behind the plumes of smoke and death leaving darkness across the skyline . We watched the TV in horror, as people ran from their certain death trenched in dust, drenched in fear, drenched in tears The lifeless bodies of people, who plummeted from the stories of above, were kicked over, were trampled as those who survived ran, not knowing where to go, nor where to turn. And they kept running, and running, to no destination, they just kept running hoping to awaken from the nightmare that never ended
Copyright ©
gilbert92
... [
2007-09-11 15:56:46]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: When Skylines Ignite
(User Rating: 1 )
by zenmind on
Wednesday, 12th September 2007 @ 07:34:20 AM AEST
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It's great that you wrote this to commemorate the victims and survivors of 9-11. But doing so is very risky, for you are playing with the possibility of writing something cheesy, trite, or cliched, which would devalue the entire tragedy of this event. So before reading the poem I was skeptical...however, for the most part you succeeded. What helps this poem is it doesn't sound too whiny or cliched...I really like the beginning where you talk about the leaves changing colors to represent the passage of time. The line about the needles on the clock ticking away like an axe against wood was very creative and fresh. The thing is that 911 has been talked about so freaking much on the news, media, and among ourselves that you it has become old, tiresome, and worn out. Not that the tragedy doesn't matter...it's just that 9-11 has become a cliche in and of itself, especially considering we are at war because of it (supposedly). But when you use fresh images such as those previously mentioned, you add new life to 9-11 as well. The weakest part of the poem for me was when you started describing what happened on 9-11. We've all seen the video footage a million times. We know what happened. That part was a little cliched for me, however I really like the way you ended your poem. That last line about people running with no destination, who kept running, and are still running today----that says a lot about not only what happened on 9-11, but just about life itself living in this messed up society.
Be True,
zenmind |
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Re: When Skylines Ignite
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 13th September 2007 @ 05:26:06 AM AEST
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I too was a bit skepitcal about reading more media on 9/11, yet I must say you did do it justice with this write.
Fresh, descriptive, you took me there. |
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