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Love With A Pinch of Salt
Contributed by
His_Infernal_Majesty
on
Sunday, 16th December 2007 @ 07:31:24 AM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
I need to know, need to get on with my life,
I nearly got through it, but somehow I lost the light.
Ive return to the dark, to the abyss in my heart.
To the place that I feared; I had nearly escaped,
But now I return to my self-inflicted hate.
As I cry and cower; for the life that love devours.
How could it be, my biggest fear and still my greatest wish?
For someone to love, when it always turns to someone to miss.
And every time the same feeling, as all beauty in life loses all meaning.
And every tear that builds in my eye, and every feeling I have inside,
and the anger and the hate, and the sorrow of my fate.
As I pray and I hope and I long for my demise,
But I know from experience that one more time Ill survive.
Gradually Ill rediscover the world and its meaning,
And eventually Ill deal with this feeling.
Then another 'you', will promise love with all their heart,
And the story will be (repeat poem from the start).
Copyright ©
His_Infernal_Majesty
... [
2007-12-16 07:31:24]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Love With A Pinch of Salt
(User Rating: 1 )
by His_Infernal_Majesty on
Sunday, 16th December 2007 @ 07:35:33 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| I know i mis-spelt pinch twice! im stupid |
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Re: Love With A Pinch of Salt
(User Rating: 1 )
by Oceandreamer on
Sunday, 16th December 2007 @ 11:08:08 AM AEST
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I like the ending.It does almost feel like that sometimes...like you fall in love only to get your heart broken over and over again.
I can relate to this poem ,as my poetry is also about the beauty and hurt of love.
Love can give you wings to fly or break your wings and make you cry.
You said that you are a romantic person and love with all your heart and keep on getting your heart broken by partners who take love like a pinch of salt....
I think that you should maybe be more selective in choosing a partner,and make sure that they seek the same values and depth in love like you do.The person should also able to commit to a relationship on the same level than you.
Love is totally worth it,so don't give up.
You will meet the right person in the right time.Take your time and never stop believing OK.
Thanks for sharing your beautiful poem!
Keep writing...
~~Oceandreamer~~ |
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Re: Love With A Pinch of Salt
(User Rating: 1 )
by ljtpc on
Sunday, 16th December 2007 @ 11:21:52 AM AEST
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| I like the sounds this poem creates in my mind; perhaps you could make it better by describing through symbolism and description of how it feels. And don't try so hard to rhyme, poetry should express from the heart, not the thesaurus. |
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Re: Love With A Pinch of Salt
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 17th December 2007 @ 05:07:10 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I don't see the rhymes as being forced at all. This flowed
exceptionally well, in fact. I love the ending; how quaintly
poetic. (and for some, how sadly true.)
The more I read of poetry, the more I realize we are all so
connected and run through so many similar emotions.
It's hard, I know to move on, knowing (or suspecting at
least), that the whole thing will just replay again. Save the best
lessons from your experiences and use them to your advantage
in future endeavours. (Easy to say, I know. lol) Hold onto
the beauty, let go of the blame. (Pain attaches itself to blame
like a burr to wool).
I loved the write. Very well done!
~Breezy
(who should be, at this very minute, finishing up Christmas projects! ACK!)
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