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Atrophy
Contributed by
wretched_reflections
on
Sunday, 30th December 2007 @ 11:53:39 AM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
I've left no time for cheap affection
In vague moments
Lunacy revives extorted remorse
Half dead I'm more alive than you
Yet here I diminish
Chaos plagues reticent days
Everything fades black
Your words still haunt these withering ways
Shadows converge on senescent flames
Everything fades black
Everyday pound a new nail
This corpse will hang forever
Bind me to redundancy
Pound another nail through lifeless hulk
Rents split in strictures behind the mirror
Lacerations in evolution
Chaos plagues reticent days
Everything fades black
Your words still haunt these withering ways
Shadows converge on senescent flames
Everything fades black
Prying the nails so slowly
Crumble with each pull
Brittle and decomposing
Take away my lovely vice
Constructed from destruction
Prying the nails so slowly
The only thing I loved
Take away my mucilage
Half dead I'm more alive than you.
Copyright ©
wretched_reflections
... [
2007-12-30 11:53:39]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Atrophy
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Sunday, 30th December 2007 @ 04:55:53 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| this is the best post ive read in, hrm....2-3 years on here. its been a while since ive seen big words used in poems or people not rhyming their poem to utter death (which im guilty of). i loved your first 3 stanzas the most (the first the very most). this reminded me of faulkner's as i lay dying novel. you had a great ending, especially since it had the only punctuation in this poem, and it made the ending sound more final and more powerful than it would have otherwise. the effect is also enhanced as the line stands alone. brilliant job, hopefully the other writers on this site take some notes out of your book on how to write. |
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