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Bon Appetite Blues
Contributed by
mr_alleycat
on
Tuesday, 1st January 2008 @ 04:38:46 AM in AEST
Topic:
HumorPoetry
|
A bacon egg and cheese biscuit
Is what I'd like the most
Instead I have some melon
and a piece of melba toast
Why can't I have a Danish
Or piece of pumpkin pie
Without a tinker's to worry
About triglyceride
At times it's such a struggle
To keep this frame of mind
Raiding the refrigerator
For the treats I would find
Waking in the morning
Sometimes it is quite close
Hit the bathroom running
From a fiber overdose
Reading all the labels
Trying to shop smart
What I thought a staple
Is not even on the chart
Walking down the aisle
My taste buds would agree
All that seems appealing
Is neither sugar nor fat free
Copyright ©
mr_alleycat
... [
2008-01-01 04:38:46]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Bon Appetite Blues
(User Rating: 1 )
by JohnYamrus on
Tuesday, 1st January 2008 @ 04:46:22 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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very nicely done! rhyme, done right, is very difficult. usually it sounds forced, like someone's allowing the form of the poem to dictate the choice of words. not in this case. you obviously know what you're doing. while rhymed verse is not my cup of tea, i can certainly appreciate when it's done well.
best...
john yamrus |
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Re: Bon Appetite Blues
(User Rating: 1 )
by Honey56 on
Tuesday, 1st January 2008 @ 05:13:08 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Great flow...Excellent write..I think John said it best..
Happy New Year!!!
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Re: Bon Appetite Blues
(User Rating: 1 )
by law_glen18 on
Tuesday, 1st January 2008 @ 12:41:00 PM AEST
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a Message)
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A truly yummy write that sent me to my own refrigerator in search of something to quell the appetite this read gave me.
I look forward to reading your future writes, keep up the god work!!! |
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