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Walking home stormy
Contributed by
zenith66
on
Monday, 14th January 2008 @ 10:18:54 PM in AEST
Topic:
Nostalgic
|
Such sheer freeze Id never felt before,
Hurtling jagged crystals stung the earth,
Whose body stood enshrouded in the storm,
An empty garden lead to every door,
Alone, I ghosted through chaotic sheets,
Of hissing rain in violent drifts,
And hollow fell my steps along the streets,
As thunder shook his booming fist
The heart burned flames of icy fire,
Infused with strange and sudden thoughts,
What festered darkly in both tree and briar,
The spectral shades of terror wrought,
These paths appeared to twist and bend,
Beneath the cloudburst overhead,
Whos all pervasive body failed to lend,
Some clue to where the world had fled,
Cloaked beneath the zero clime,
Stinging hands and watery eyes,
Without a sense of place and time,
Deserted under lidless skies,
Pushing through the brumal shield,
Looking winter in the eye,
Whose corridors grow dark and seal,
I wont be home for miles.
Copyright ©
zenith66
... [
2008-01-14 22:18:54]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Walking home stormy
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 14th January 2008 @ 11:20:48 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Wow! I love this. Great imagery and it flows brilliantly. Nice work ;) |
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Re: Walking home stormy
(User Rating: 1 )
by ki on
Tuesday, 15th January 2008 @ 12:24:45 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| brilliantly written!! |
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Re: Walking home stormy
(User Rating: 1 )
by ribbons_and_lace09 on
Tuesday, 15th January 2008 @ 03:13:18 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| nicely written! when i read and write poetry i like to envision what i'm reading and writing. i envisioned this one perfectly. good job! kudos to you! |
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Re: Walking home stormy
(User Rating: 1 )
by Adreana on
Tuesday, 15th January 2008 @ 05:45:37 AM AEST
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Ah... The long journey... where we meet the hot, cold, sweltering, freezing... dark, light... This piece has such a realistic feel to me... but at the same time, it's somewhat epic. My favorite line:
"I ghosted through chaotic sheets"
Fabulous work!!
And thank you for all your continued support!!
~Adreana |
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Re: Walking home stormy
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 18th January 2008 @ 05:40:20 AM AEST
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What an absolute treat of a poem.Thank you
Den |
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Re: Walking home stormy
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 11th February 2008 @ 01:42:47 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I slept under an indian blanket with my hippy once. It was a weekend, outdoors party. I was the only one that stick it out with him when the storm came.
thanks for striking amemr'y with this awesome write.
big huggs, smiles,
emy |
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Re: Walking home stormy
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 20th February 2008 @ 11:43:31 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Holy heck zenith!!! Your poetry gets better every time I read it! You have a flawless execution with
descriptions and I adore the way you give emotions to non-human things. The personification makes them
so much more relatable and places the reader inside the emotion more easily, IMHO.
You have this uncanny ability to take your reader on a journey through your words , ordering them
(unbeknownst to them), what to feel and when to feel it .. .and they do, dear poet. They do. I'm really
pleased with the bravery you exhibit in your execution of thoughts. You could move the most ice-crusted
of hearts.
Damn fine writing. One of your best!
~Breezy
(who literally got chills) |
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