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If I poured it out
Contributed by
shelby
on
Saturday, 1st March 2008 @ 10:03:50 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
If I could tip some out
some of the hurt
let it spill onto the earth
let it spill onto the pages.
Would you see it, feel it, own it?
If you could swim in the depth
of my souls water,
like rivers wild
and raindrops glisten
Would you swim upstream, for the length of the journey?
If I poured it out.
Gathered it in a vase,
added roses to it
would you just see the thorn?
Or the beauty of the flower that comes with it.
Copyright ©
shelby
... [
2008-03-01 10:03:50]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: If I poured it out
(User Rating: 1 )
by NoSaint on
Saturday, 1st March 2008 @ 10:40:06 AM AEST
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a Message)
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lovely
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Re: If I poured it out
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Saturday, 1st March 2008 @ 11:17:42 AM AEST
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| I agree with the last person who commented...this was lovely. I like the questions being posed, they're very thought-provoking and you can just *so* sympathize with the speaker of the poem. You've written a very beautiful piece, it was very descriptive and I found myself enjoying it. Nicely done. |
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Re: If I poured it out
(User Rating: 1 )
by Puppy_dog_eyes on
Saturday, 1st March 2008 @ 11:42:15 AM AEST
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I was charmed by the beauty of this piece.
I guess I've been washed by some of the water in your soul now
Steve |
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Re: If I poured it out
(User Rating: 1 )
by little_genna on
Saturday, 1st March 2008 @ 01:12:49 PM AEST
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| i definitely have to agree with every comment on this poem... i was definitely charmed by it. i love the questions you asked.. thank you for sharing. |
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Re: If I poured it out
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 1st March 2008 @ 02:36:06 PM AEST
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" If you could swim in the depth of my souls water, "
Let me give you another if shel, if i didn't read
anything but this magnificently nobel and most majestic line, i'd still give you a 5 star
vote and an ice cream cone 2 boot, consider it done, you are a true modern day dedicated
artist . . . lovely work my friend . . .
((((Michelle))))
Ben
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Re: If I poured it out
(User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on
Saturday, 1st March 2008 @ 05:09:45 PM AEST
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this is simply another emotional masterpiece!! very enchanting indeed!
rock on,
vampyress Jenni |
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Re: If I poured it out
(User Rating: 1 )
by jesusofholland on
Tuesday, 29th April 2008 @ 01:16:42 PM AEST
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| I've seen the vase, the bloom, the prickly thorns, and they, together, are glaringly beautiful, as are the words and the message composed within this write. Your talent is astonishing! This, so far, is my favorite from you. |
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Re: If I poured it out
(User Rating: 1 )
by windowguy on
Friday, 29th May 2009 @ 10:17:56 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Well written. Good use of questions. Makes one think. |
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