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Momentary Castles
Contributed by
Rakerman1999
on
Tuesday, 18th March 2008 @ 10:11:55 AM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
You were but a shout within a tempest
A momentary castle in the sand
Believing fate would let you last forever
At least that was they way you'd had it planned
But shouting is no better than a whisper
And castles in the sand are doomed to fall
When stricken by the waves of trepidation
As rumbling storms of living come to call
Funny, how you never saw the forest
Hidden there behind those many trees
I guess you didn't want to find the truth
Preferring lies to leaves, too blind to see
The times that were more precious than forever
The days of love and laughter that were then
And once they're gone they're gone, no going back
You'll never know that kind of love again.
Shouting is no better than a whisper
As rumbling storms of living come to call
When stricken by the waves of trepidation
A castle in the sand is sure to fall
Believing fate would let you last forever
At least that was the way you'd had it planned
You were just a shout within a tempest
A momentary castle in the sand
L. Carling c2008
Copyright ©
Rakerman1999
... [
2008-03-18 10:11:55]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Momentary Castles
(User Rating: 1 )
by Daniela_Maria_Violin on
Tuesday, 18th March 2008 @ 12:08:25 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Hi Larry,
Do you remember me?!?
This is an AMAZING write! Thanks for posting!! It feels like it's been decades since I've been here. LOL |
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Re: Momentary Castles
(User Rating: 1 )
by Voice of the Silent on
Tuesday, 18th March 2008 @ 12:26:16 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Great write I like the rhyme and what you used for symbolism but I like it I think its one of the best I've read |
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Re: Momentary Castles
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Tuesday, 18th March 2008 @ 12:36:50 PM AEST
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a Message)
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oh Larry,
this is beautiful, you never lose the touch of the pen my friend. I loved the shouting is no better than a whisper and the forest and leaves....... well dang it I just love it all lol...
hugs and rose petals in redsssss
Michelle
mmm maybe a few green petals for st pattys day! |
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Re: Momentary Castles
(User Rating: 1 )
by diba_perfect on
Tuesday, 18th March 2008 @ 03:13:27 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| awesome write..simply awesome..u don't compare art but this is simply 1 of the best I've ever read.. |
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Re: Momentary Castles
(User Rating: 1 )
by NoSaint on
Wednesday, 19th March 2008 @ 01:12:03 AM AEST
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a Message)
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as always your words weave a tapestry that touches the heart my friend
Shari |
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Re: Momentary Castles
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 19th March 2008 @ 02:05:23 AM AEST
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Larry, this was heart breaking. Right from the very potent first line.
You've always had such an incredible way with words. You could make
those that stand in an emotionless sea, cease to exist. I truly love how
your first stanza holds hands with your last. Like coming full circle. And
just like that, so too is life. We live in circles it seems. Always feeling
and reliving the same damn thing over and over. Sometimes this
is a good thing, but mostly, it's a case of, we just never learn.
Your poems always beat steady, (and though forlorn, always with the fragrance
of roses), but often with a faintness that only those who have been there could know.
Painfully beautiful , dear poet~
@--->----------
~Breezy
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