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My Only Great
Contributed by
breezyweezy
on
Monday, 14th April 2008 @ 01:09:40 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
I take a look in the dusty old room
Where you used to be
Your old rocker just sitting there
Waiting for you to come home
Your bed with the pink and green flowers
Still made from when you last made it
The windowpane is covered by the yellow daisy curtains
Your favorite ones, you told me once
I remember you, my only great
For now you are with the other greats
With your gray-white hair and your wire-rimmed glasses
Thicker than cardboard
Your blue and black shaky hands along with the creased wrinkles
Your ankles swelled with fluid
Wearing your purple cotton shirt with a broach
And your purple pants that were always too long
I hope you are happier there than you were here
I remember you telling me that you would always be here
And I know you have kept that promise
So I took the old rocker and I put it in my room and rocked in it slightly
Then I got up and took your favorite curtains and folded them up
To put under my pillow
So I could dream about you
With your gray-white hair and your wire-rimmed glasses
Copyright ©
breezyweezy
... [
2008-04-14 01:09:40]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My Only Great
(User Rating: 1 )
by jantra on
Monday, 14th April 2008 @ 06:38:04 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| i really loved this piece. you have a beautiful descriptive style that flows really well. however the only line i would take issue with is "i remember you, my only great for now you are with my other greats" it reads awkwardly and doesnt make that much sense. if she is your only great why is she with the other greats? |
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Re: My Only Great
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Monday, 14th April 2008 @ 12:49:54 PM AEST
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A beautiful poem and the images took the reader with you on this journey of sweet memories.
Michelle |
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