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HOW I WISH I COULD FLY
Contributed by
Bluebell
on
Sunday, 11th May 2008 @ 02:58:30 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
How i wish i could fly,
Then i would be in the sky,
Wouldn't that be grand,
Then i could fly in my frying pan,
I'd go into bed,
And shut my sleepy head,
I'd wake up and have a shower,
Then i would run down stairs with all my power,
I'd dance around,
Then fall on the ground,
Then i'd jump in the sky and fly fly fly.........
Copyright ©
Bluebell
... [
2008-05-11 02:58:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: HOW I WISH I COULD FLY
(User Rating: 1 )
by Puppy on
Sunday, 11th May 2008 @ 03:14:20 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Hey welcome to the site! I really enjoyed your first poem..I looking forward to reading many more from you..must admit though i don't shut my head when i go to bed but whatever works for you!!!
Puppy :) |
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Re: HOW I WISH I COULD FLY
(User Rating: 1 )
by Voice of the Silent on
Sunday, 11th May 2008 @ 04:14:44 AM AEST
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good write but you should change "And shut my sleepy head. To "And rest my sleepy head.
but whatever I liked but just a suggestion |
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Re: HOW I WISH I COULD FLY
(User Rating: 1 )
by memey on
Sunday, 11th May 2008 @ 06:50:05 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Well done.. I like ur poem :) |
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Re: HOW I WISH I COULD FLY
(User Rating: 1 )
by Hannah_Heaven on
Sunday, 11th May 2008 @ 08:53:52 AM AEST
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i liked it a poem can be whatever you want it to be rhyming or not
and dont change that line its what makes it your poem
plus i liked it coz u do shut of ya head like haha x |
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Re: HOW I WISH I COULD FLY
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Saturday, 7th June 2008 @ 10:32:31 PM AEST
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Hey..I really enjoyed reading this whimsical poem of yours. Good work. It gave the reader a sense of freedom....
Welcome to YPDC...
Jenni |
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Re: HOW I WISH I COULD FLY
(User Rating: 1 )
by PlainFreshRain on
Tuesday, 17th June 2008 @ 10:13:43 PM AEST
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Hey Sis,
Love your first poem "Bluebell"!
YOUR SO FULL OF ENERGY!
Conal |
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Re: HOW I WISH I COULD FLY
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 14th September 2008 @ 09:14:07 PM AEST
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Hey!
Good work!
Keep it up-so fresha and free!
Beth |
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Re: HOW I WISH I COULD FLY
(User Rating: 1 )
by onyx on
Saturday, 20th September 2008 @ 02:19:53 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| this ones really good! |
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