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Power of your love
Contributed by
killer81849
on
Monday, 12th May 2008 @ 12:20:20 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
I saw you for the first time that day
when my heart felt pain and lost its way
found in a place
dark corners and empty holes, dreadful pain
till that day you grasped it tighty and put it away
held it so it felt no pain
Copyright ©
killer81849
... [
2008-05-12 12:20:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Power of your love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 12th May 2008 @ 12:22:29 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| i like it! i'm a bit confused on "found in a place" though. |
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Re: Power of your love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Killer81849 on
Monday, 12th May 2008 @ 12:26:07 PM AEST
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a Message)
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yeah thats the part i want to change "found in a place" what i am trying to say my heart is in that kind of place dark and alone
ty |
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Re: Power of your love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Desideratum on
Monday, 12th May 2008 @ 12:39:11 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Needs punctuation.
Not "till" me, "tell me" |
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Re: Power of your love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 12th May 2008 @ 12:42:58 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| I'd say that it's a nice start. Of course, I look forward to seeing it finished. I like it. |
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