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no title
Contributed by
arijadna77
on
Friday, 23rd May 2008 @ 09:35:37 PM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
|
Melting in my own sins
Deceiving deceived
Judging the judge
Smashed like a bug
Repairing my wings
Trying to fly again
Through closed window
Slipping rapidly
Building a plan
Running to catch a leaf
Hoping for easy ride
Dreaming like a maggot
Fearless I am
Lie is my truth
Until a hand slaps upon my tiny head
And I die
Copyright ©
arijadna77
... [
2008-05-23 21:35:37]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: no title
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 24th May 2008 @ 07:13:44 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Brilliant!
The flow of this poem was excellant and you make the reader want to know each next line. It was fast paced and well done.
Take care
Christina |
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Re: no title
(User Rating: 1 )
by Roddy on
Saturday, 24th May 2008 @ 04:27:57 PM AEST
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That very first line and the last three lines really struck me hard.
roddy |
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Re: no title
(User Rating: 1 )
by safetyinnumbers on
Monday, 26th May 2008 @ 10:43:02 PM AEST
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Nice write, I like how it flowed....'melting in my own sins'...I like that....
.....melting in my own sins
I drown in disbelief
my eyes become liquid dreams
and the stars swim within..... |
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