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Welcome !	Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 ·	04-December 04:16:56 AEST

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Behind

Contributed by lucyc on Tuesday, 1st July 2008 @ 06:18:11 AM in AEST
Topic: LostLove

You gave me an inch,
and i took a mile.
You gave me the Sun,
and i took the whole sky.
I took what was yours and forgot what was mine,
no wonder why now you've left me behind.

Copyright © lucyc ... [ 2008-07-01 06:18:11]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Behind (User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on Tuesday, 1st July 2008 @ 06:29:02 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Ouch!!
I enjoyed this.. I thought it flowed well except maybe the last line.....
"no wonder why now you've left me behind."
I would have changed the placement of the word 'now'...to read--->

no wonder why you've now left me behind.
(just my opinion)...
Welcome to YPDC... hope you enjoy it here as much as we all do...

Jenni

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