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Trouble facing you
Contributed by
jackee_line
on
Tuesday, 18th March 2003 @ 08:05:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
|
Why are you staring?
What are you looking for?
Your eye's tell me nothing,
just like before.
You keep looking,
searching for what!
I give you nothing.
I want you to stop.
But you insist.
Your eye's I try to avoid,
but you persist.
Don't want you to see the void.
There is nothing to see,
so stop staring at me.
Why can't you see,
why won't you let me be?
GRrrr...Blood trickles once more,
as the shattered mirror falls to the floor.
Copyright ©
jackee_line
... [
2003-03-18 20:05:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Trouble facing you
(User Rating: 1 )
by spooky on
Tuesday, 18th March 2003 @ 10:44:57 PM AEST
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why put yourself down,,your better than that,,
dont look at the person in the mirror,,look at the person inside,,a friend in words,,spooky |
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Re: Trouble facing you
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 21st March 2003 @ 11:22:01 AM AEST
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This is a fantastic poem, Jackee. Such talent. I love it!!
sleepless_siren |
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Re: Trouble facing you
(User Rating: 1 )
by mystical_illusion on
Friday, 21st March 2003 @ 06:17:01 PM AEST
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I loved your poem, the anger and emotion clearly shown. Great job
-Kelly |
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Re: Trouble facing you
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Thursday, 27th March 2003 @ 01:23:32 PM AEST
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| oooooh i love this and the ending! ...can hear you growling:) hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: Trouble facing you
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ramfire on
Tuesday, 22nd April 2003 @ 05:59:18 PM AEST
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Nice surprise ending. I thought some guy was looking at you and you didn't like it.
Regards,
Ramfire |
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Re: Trouble facing you
(User Rating: 1 )
by WordPoet on
Wednesday, 23rd April 2003 @ 02:21:28 PM AEST
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The mirror is a good example of how we see ourselves. Though we think things are quite clear, if we take the time to look we'll notice that everything is backwards.
Great write and what an ending... Very deep and thought provoking. Good Job. |
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Re: Trouble facing you
(User Rating: 1 )
by Trisha on
Monday, 28th April 2003 @ 09:39:37 AM AEST
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| It's cute tell it like it suppose to be |
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Re: Trouble facing you
(User Rating: 1 )
by razorbladerose on
Monday, 28th April 2003 @ 11:58:19 AM AEST
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| I love the way you wrote this, because it gave me reaction! Very brilliant! |
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Re: Trouble facing you
(User Rating: 1 )
by AngryPrincess on
Friday, 9th May 2003 @ 12:45:58 PM AEST
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wow Jackee, this is brilliant...very well written and you surprised us all with the end...
Lindsey |
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Re: Trouble facing you
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jilli_bean on
Monday, 12th May 2003 @ 02:23:16 PM AEST
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I really liked this poem..its like no matter how hard you try to hide the pain...someone always sees through...and it scares you...I like the line: Don't want you to see the void
it points out...that there really is nothing there...and you truly don't want any body to know..you want to keep hiding..but they will eventually find out...and thats wat keeps you sane |
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Re: Trouble facing you
(User Rating: 1 )
by ATTICUSKRAZEZ on
Thursday, 5th June 2003 @ 04:42:39 AM AEST
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| Our worst enemies,biggest fears,most hated are only a glance away.Wonderful write. |
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Re: Trouble facing you
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Saturday, 27th March 2004 @ 11:40:11 PM AEST
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| The twist at the end was spectacular! You surprised me and I thought it was going one way and went another. Let me say that makes for the best writes. It opens up a whole new line of thought as to what we see when we stare at our image in the mirror. Do we see a seperate person who critiques us? Do we see our features and just ourselves harshly? Do we see our inner souls? Or are we suddenly angered and we shatter the image? Yeah I agree this was excellent and deeply thought provoking. Well done.... Kie |
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Re: Trouble facing you
(User Rating: 1 )
by Chrissylee on
Sunday, 28th March 2004 @ 10:56:12 AM AEST
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| great write i thought right up till the mirror part someone was actually staring at you... great thoughts |
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Re: Trouble facing you
(User Rating: 1 )
by randumbchit on
Tuesday, 20th March 2007 @ 10:17:25 AM AEST
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| loved the poem it was a really great expression of emotion keep writing |
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