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Autumn At Night
Contributed by
zenith66
on
Thursday, 23rd October 2008 @ 09:22:53 AM in AEST
Topic:
FamilyPoems
|
I held October without fail,
In tangled thoughts of floating rain,
Below its breath is light less Gail,
And dipping through the half lit tail
Of autumns drizzly mane,
I felt upon my cheek its brush,
Its tiring lift in dampened flow,
The bleary swifts autumnal glide,
Wreathing streets on either side,
As lights click on below,
No cars bewilder autumns din,
Or presence of some passer bye,
The rain descends in circlets dim,
Thrown by waves of darkened wind
in saturated sigh,
I need no gods or human seer,
To tell of what created this,
Earth is on the move tonight
And though one half is surely bright
Thats far away from here,
The wind the world and me remain,
Lost in dreamlike circumstance,
Watching things of chaos made,
Behind the windowed serenade
of strangely potent dance,
And men are nowhere to be found,
No hint of golden leaves or sun,
Ive watched her take this lonely street,
The world is at the seasons feet,
With winter still to come
Copyright ©
zenith66
... [
2008-10-23 09:22:53]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Autumn At Night
(User Rating: 1 )
by karoody on
Thursday, 23rd October 2008 @ 09:30:53 AM AEST
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My favorite season as well! I also love a good storm! thank you very much for this poem. You drew this scene very well for us!
Smiles
kara |
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Re: Autumn At Night
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Thursday, 23rd October 2008 @ 09:41:12 AM AEST
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nicely done,
great writing,
wiz |
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Re: Autumn At Night
(User Rating: 1 )
by Gravehorn on
Thursday, 23rd October 2008 @ 10:07:48 AM AEST
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| Yes, I enjoy autumn more than any other season. This was well written, and I'm glad you decided to continue with your rhyming scheme throughout the poem's entirety. |
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Re: Autumn At Night
(User Rating: 1 )
by outlawpoet on
Thursday, 23rd October 2008 @ 03:15:16 PM AEST
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good write i like the rhyme scheme you used here. keep it up.
The Outlaw Poet |
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Re: Autumn At Night
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Friday, 24th October 2008 @ 01:28:07 AM AEST
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hun, fall is so beautiful and you captured it with this write, it is full of color. Brilliant work. Always a pleasure.
Hugs
Michelle |
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Re: Autumn At Night
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 26th October 2008 @ 07:32:07 PM AEST
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HOLY HELL!!! Good GOD, zenith!! You DO know how to open a piece with incredulous power!
Being immensely influenced and genuinely inspired by autumn, (as you know) my natural instinct
is to critique anything that cannot live up to the potential that this time of year breathes into
our souls, (mine own work included! lol). But damn!! This is just too fine. You have drenched my
world with autumn here and when the leaves are no more and all I can fill my heart with are
bare limbs and a few remnant scents of her beauty, I'll return to this piece and relive the wonder
that is this season in FULL BLOOM once again!!
BRAVO poet! There are few who can capture the essence of something so exquisitely.
Be proud. Be VERY proud of this. It is infinitely MORE than just, 'nicely done'. It is the rush
of standing on the edge of the season, filling our senses to the BRIM with all its wonder.
Beautiful work, my friend. Absolutely G O R G E O U S !!!
~ Breezy
(going back to read again!)
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Re: Autumn At Night
(User Rating: 1 )
by thewizard on
Monday, 4th May 2009 @ 11:16:39 AM AEST
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| Firstly, many thanks for your comment about my poem 'Shades of Autumn Gold' I read your poem and felt you had the same feeling about the autumn season as I. A lovely way to express your feeling about autumn. Keep up the great writing and I will look at your other wonderful words |
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