|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
not named yet?
Contributed by
thelostpuppet
on
Sunday, 16th November 2008 @ 01:45:43 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
The city lights
From way up high
Like raindrops in the midnight sky
Closing in
Darkness on all sides
Close your eyes
It feels like speeding cars
You're falling
You're falling, spinning
Open up your eyes, you're okay
Colorful arouras dance everywhere you look
Like a vivid mist of many, changing, colors
In the black of night
Then white
White
Goodbye
Copyright ©
thelostpuppet
... [
2008-11-16 01:45:43]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: not named yet?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 16th November 2008 @ 02:24:23 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I would title it "White Goodbye" or "Then White...Goodbye".
I am not usually one for suicide poems. A perhaps this is not simply that. I loved your imagery here and really the ending can be interpreted as both obvious and ambiguous. I prefer in my case (as a reader) to believe it ambiguous. Is it a dream? Is it death in a dream? Is it suicide? Is it the vision of suicide? Is it a warning for suicide?
Wither way your poetic ability stands out wonderfully in this. You write very modern, with a rhythmic flare. This is a very living poem full of energy despite it's potential subject. All around a good job, and an exciting introduction to your work for me.
BRAVO!
SCM |
|
|
Re: not named yet?
(User Rating: 1 )
by razorbladekisses on
Monday, 27th April 2009 @ 12:28:10 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I agree, I'd call it, "White Goodbye" as well. That seems like a nice title.
There does appear to be a heavy darkness to this poem, but it also seems to be very alive.
Short yet deep. There are many things that you could interpret from this poem. Great job!
-RBkisses |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
