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Lovelorn
Contributed by
Spike
on
Tuesday, 25th November 2008 @ 05:36:53 AM in AEST
Topic:
anguished
|
Here I sit broken hearted
Prayed for love but they departed
Gone and lost before it started
Alone alone, empty-hearted
Love and hope gone on wings
a sad strumming of heartstrings
sing a song of sad soliloquy
poor, poor pitiful me
unrequited or rejected
either way, Im here dejected
Without love the heart can beat,
but the stuff of life is incomplete
laughter doesnt ring so true,
emotions toll as if on cue
taste is only on the tongue, and
the sweetest songs go unsung
Here remains so much unsaid,
a life unmade as mornings bed
aching longing towards another
wholl never take me as a lover
devoid of loves sweet reverie
I sit alone the more pitiful, me.
Copyright ©
Spike
... [
2008-11-25 05:36:53]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Lovelorn
(User Rating: 1 )
by Loende on
Tuesday, 25th November 2008 @ 03:32:26 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Spike, my friend... From the picture to the last word of the last stanza, this is great heart-broken plight. There's such a sense of longing and loneliness in here and one would have to truly BE dead to not understand where this kind of pain can take you. You hit the nail right on the head. Amazing write.
Be well,
Dawn |
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Re: Lovelorn
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 29th November 2008 @ 08:33:38 PM AEST
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I had no idea you were writing a trilody. I suppose I should look closer at those author's notes, lol. Wow! This is stunning, powerful, damn wonderful poetry. Your middle stanza is absolutely flawless (not that any of the others have flaws). That stanza is perfect description of what loneliness or the wandering through love loss actually feels like. I also must add that the opening of the final stanza really quite sums up the feeling of such deep loneliness (for I as have most of us have been there). It is like incomplete life, unsaid statements, an unmade bed. We are not complete until we've found someone to most deeply confide our hearts and souls in.
If this is somewhat autobiographical I am sorry you are going through this. Yet I am certain this will eventually be the things that lead you to something, someone, some place where lonliness is a memory only visited in your amazing poetry.
BRAVO!
SCM |
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Re: Lovelorn
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 30th November 2008 @ 09:20:42 AM AEST
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Holy heck spike! I mean, good lord this is painful. You truly captured the anguish one feels at having lost the
love it had sought. I know of this and it is indeed one of the most cruel emotions. And yet, we still embrace it. It
reminds us that we are alive and what awaits us still. Good things are yet to come, (at the risk of sounding
patronizing.) You have written of this emotion so eloquently that the reader is compelled to feel every splinter
of pain that strikes the heart. I can't remember the last time I read a piece that described this kind of
torture with such accuracy and skill.
Brilliantly crafted my friend, though painfully sad in all it's beauty.
~ Breezy
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