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First Night
Contributed by
jnep
on
Sunday, 30th November 2008 @ 08:40:49 AM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
Sleepless, I watch you
Hunter and prey, A lion and lamb
A forbidden love
Copyright ©
jnep
... [
2008-11-30 08:40:49]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: First Night
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 30th November 2008 @ 11:11:08 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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I love this. It's a haiku (that breaks the rules of haiku) and it's sensual. To be able to strike the romantic heart strings in only three potentially ambiguous lines is the honey of poetry. This is outstanding work. Most haikus miss the mark for me. I usually can not stand them. Okay actually I loathe them to me they are the pretentious mess that many people mock poets with. Yet every once in a while something like this comes along. Certainly you did not follow the syllable or nature rule (though the nature rule can be argued), yet you created an exploding passion in a few lines. Brilliant!
BRAVO!
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