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- This Old Life -
Contributed by
143
on
Friday, 26th December 2008 @ 12:03:03 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
This old life
as the pages shall turn
we log on but to only learn
That what we expected
is not really here
when theres no mail
it brings no cheer
so you think for awhile
in what you should do
as your pondering thoughts
are ever so blue
Some days are ok
but never to be
what I really want
is something that I need
Its not to much
to ask for what I wish
but I guess Im to greedy
it is what it is
Copyright ©
143
... [
2008-12-26 00:03:03]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: - This Old Life -
(User Rating: 1 )
by high_on_duct_tape on
Friday, 26th December 2008 @ 12:10:24 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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This poem certainly conveys your message. It would benefit from more imagery (or other poetic devices). Also, watch your spelling/grammar throughout (just ask if you want a list of minor errors).
About the subject of the poem, I think it's usually worth maintaining high standards. It sounds like you may too, you're just ambivilant. If that's the case, then don't worry. Standards are not a bad thing. |
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