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within this place
Contributed by
elle
on
Wednesday, 7th January 2009 @ 06:23:42 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
I sigh in whispers of this place
which is my heart. . .
in need of peace.
I soar like a thousand angels
above the memories,
now mine to keep.
& while alone
I miss the nearness of you,
indefinitely. . .
what is this empty place?
what thorn?
it is my heart
after you are gone.
I float like ten thousand petals
with bittersweet softness
that only reminds me of your touch.
within this fragile place. . .
I cannot bear the thought of us
& so sweetheart
I flee a thousand echoes
of love shaped words
their meaning lost behind the mask.
what ill, forgotten place?
the saddest place I've ever been. . .
I feel I"ve cried ten thousand tears.
I wade through feelings
full of fear
until I simply cannot breath.
oh, shard & splinter,
prick & sting. . .
Copyright ©
elle
... [
2009-01-07 18:23:42]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: within this place
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Wednesday, 7th January 2009 @ 06:48:56 PM AEST
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Oh Elle,
you melted my heart onto this screen while reading this. Divine write, flow and beauty rise to the highest of Heavens in this write. Thanks for sharing this.
Hugs
Michelle |
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Re: within this place
(User Rating: 1 )
by Crow on
Wednesday, 7th January 2009 @ 08:03:02 PM AEST
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| I want to thank you for stopping by and reading me, not for the reading, but because it brought me here to read this. "outstanding. Vincent |
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Re: within this place
(User Rating: 1 )
by FRANCO on
Wednesday, 7th January 2009 @ 10:36:18 PM AEST
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Dear friend, it's a very touching work of art, every word is very intense and penetrating. I really enjoyed reading it.
Thanks for sharing.
Regards,
FRANCO |
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Re: within this place
(User Rating: 1 )
by Butterflyperfect on
Thursday, 8th January 2009 @ 12:30:48 AM AEST
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I loved reading this. It is so wonderful and the words just all make sense inside my head. Very Nice!!
Take Care,
~Butterfly |
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Re: within this place
(User Rating: 1 )
by gmcse8 on
Thursday, 8th January 2009 @ 08:24:49 AM AEST
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What a wonderful poem. I read it through several times, and enjoyed it more each time. Actually the first line grabbed me the instant I read it. What a terrific line...... so perfect. I almost sighed myself as I read it. I also liked the last two lines very much, they seemed to really put a punctuation mark to the poem. My favorites though were the question and answer, " What thorn? It is my heart." I thought that was special. I did have a question however. Since I am very new at this I get curious why someone does something one way or another. Did you have a reason for not using the same number repetively? you went back and forth between a thousand and ten thousand a few times. I was just wondering if you thought about just using one number all the way through like a metronome ticking, or repetitive theme? Wonderful imagery, thanks. I will be reading more of your stuff.
Bob Jordan |
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Re: within this place
(User Rating: 1 )
by Puppy_dog_eyes on
Friday, 9th January 2009 @ 04:30:57 PM AEST
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Reading this felt like reading a dance of words, beautifully synchronised together in perfect harmony.
Lots of great imagery here.
Well done
Steve |
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Re: within this place
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 2nd February 2009 @ 02:23:09 AM AEST
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with bittersweet softness
Is most definitely what you have captured and created here with this one. Definitely, that is it in a nutshell!!!! This is excellent and amazing.
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Re: within this place
(User Rating: 1 )
by windowguy on
Friday, 5th June 2009 @ 02:18:31 PM AEST
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| "A thousand echoes of love shaped words." Interesting phrase. Overall, it is quite a powerful write. |
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