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With a Vengeance (Like a Jail Cell)
Contributed by
franciswolf
on
Friday, 16th January 2009 @ 06:14:23 PM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
|
Confused kids found some panty hose,
Strange contraptions and erotic clothes,
In moms drawer and they wonder where this thing goes,
What it does, why it glows.
Carnival keeps me up at night,
Sucks out all the dark and pushes in florescent lights,
Makes my burdens shown and the hurts all bright,
Tempts me to prove the wrongs from right.
You know you treat me wrong,
You know you treat me bad,
You know I dont feel so strong,
You know I actually feel, kind of sad.
You know you treat me wrong,
You know you point out all the things I lack
You know you treat me just like a jail cell,
You stay with me just to clean up your act.
Nihilistic apathy,
Man, it takes out all the best in me,
Makes my shoulders heavy and my fingers bleed,
My lungs fill up and my nose can breathe.
Racist this, bigot that,
White, purple, orange, black,
Knock on wood and write on sticky pads,
Moral murmurs and sheltered laughs.
You know you treat me wrong,
You know you treat me real, real bad,
You know I dont feel so, so, so strong,
You know I actually feel, I feel sort of sad.
You know you treat me, oh God, you treat me wrong,
You know its staying hard just to keep intact,
You know you treat me just like a jail cell,
You stay with me just to clean up your act.
Copyright ©
franciswolf
... [
2009-01-16 18:14:23]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: With a Vengeance (Like a Jail Cell)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 16th January 2009 @ 07:22:00 PM AEST
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a Message)
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i found this write very interesting. i liked the way you used the metaphor of a jail cell to its full effect, i think this worked very well and was original. all in all, great writing, great work.
-phil |
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Re: With a Vengeance (Like a Jail Cell)
(User Rating: 1 )
by kismetkills on
Thursday, 29th January 2009 @ 10:02:32 PM AEST
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| i like this poem because it feels like it leads you up stairs in a way, where it starts with one thing that seems odd and almost humorous, but then you take a step into something darker. |
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Re: With a Vengeance (Like a Jail Cell)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Monday, 25th October 2010 @ 02:54:16 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
you are indeed a quirky breath of fresh air, but I think it works better as song lyrics - it'll allow you to get away with a few longer sentences that poetry and poets are so unforgiving about. Still, the froth on the cappacino tonight, for sure.
S. |
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