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Snowflake re-write
Contributed by
angel-1
on
Thursday, 5th February 2009 @ 05:45:35 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
You are my drug, my addiction
Something I cannot live without
Ive never had this feeling before
Never known what its all about
Ive always loved the way you smile
The way you say my name
Ive never met anyone like you before
I dont think I will ever again
So beautiful I can hardly speak
Youre perfect in my eyes
You are the centre of my world
I dont even see the other guys
Something as common as a hug
Means the world when its from you
Yet I want to tell you something
Hopefully you already knew.
I just always want to have you
Right here by my side
To help me through the bad times
To take it all in stride
When youre happy the whole world shines
Your aura is so radiant
This amazing bright bubbly ball
With the ability to enchant
When youve melted I want to save you
I want to make it all better
I want to protect you from this harsh dry world
I am your loving saviour
Every time you look my way
My heart will completely freeze
I look away and start to blush
You always like to tease
Waiting patiently for that one moment
I can look into your eyes
That wonderful moment I can tell
A secret kiss under the cloudy skies.
I know in my heart of hearts this is love
For nothing else could be so strong
I feel it right down in my soul
In your cool embrace, I belong
Youre the most amazing person Ive ever met
Youre so very unique
But every time Im around you
I can hardly even speak
Something so simple, like holding my hand
Leaves me completely breathless.
But theres something hidden inside my heart
Something I need to confess.
Im so afraid of losing you
Id be shattered if you left
I dont know how Id go on living
Sad, lonely, bereft
I trust you with my whole heart
I hope you trust me too
For I would never hurt you
Lying is something I wouldnt do
Im the luckiest girl in the world
Because I have your love
You are something so very special
My gift from up above
Youre my one in a million babe
My own unique snowflake
Something so pure, when youre so complex
Something Im trying not to break
You complete the blizzard of my heart
And create something spellbinding
Youre always there in my thoughts
Constantly reminding
I see clearly now that I have you
I never want that to leave
The futures near but never certain
I try not to be nave
Something so small yet so amazing
Full of wonder yet so delicate
I have to be so gentle with you
My match my other half my soul mate
Ill love you now and forever
You are my one and only
You are my guiding light
You are my shining star
You are:
My snowflake
Copyright ©
angel-1
... [
2009-02-05 17:45:35]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Snowflake re-write
(User Rating: 1 )
by navydocny on
Thursday, 5th February 2009 @ 08:05:11 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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very good write...
you're obviously smitten with her...
my dings on it are just the length, (I think that you can say more with less). You say a lot of nice things in many different ways. You could almost pull five poems from this one. Each could settle it's own theme....
Just my dig on it...
Very good job!
Steve |
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Re: Snowflake re-write
(User Rating: 1 )
by Balmain_Tiger on
Friday, 6th February 2009 @ 06:50:38 AM AEST
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a Message)
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you have spilled you emotions on the page to impress upon your love, how much she must mean to you. If your trying to win her it could be too long.
a few places though the words and scenarios are different but the point of the emotion is the same maybe wean them out and simplify.
But hey I too am a hopeless romantic and all too often I fall on my own sword....
Good luck |
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