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chains
Contributed by
simsalabim
on
Monday, 9th March 2009 @ 12:35:59 AM in AEST
Topic:
CongratulatoryPoems
|
these chains
of mine
they wrap themselves
around your lies
your lies
so proud
of your lies
your... thievery
your choice
your mistake
your lies
that i gave...
to you
and forgave you
as best as i could
you attack
when you should
retreat
i should
physically beat the life
from you
i can't...i cry...
i only wanted a laugh
and you stole it
you make everything
obscene
Copyright ©
simsalabim
... [
2009-03-09 00:35:59]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: chains
(User Rating: 1 )
by dark_poet on
Monday, 9th March 2009 @ 09:26:00 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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in my opinion, your writing style is not a recommendation. try to write longer, i used to squeeze my essay's in to make it look longer(foolish mistake). it was an ok piece, i like how you left the reader questioning.
7/10 |
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Re: chains
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jessi95 on
Tuesday, 4th May 2010 @ 09:20:55 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| This is really good |
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Re: chains
(User Rating: 1 )
by thebadguy9999 on
Tuesday, 6th July 2010 @ 04:13:55 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| nice |
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Re: chains
(User Rating: 1 )
by deusdeira on
Friday, 19th November 2010 @ 10:50:27 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Hardly congratulatory lol but it has a message and it delivered it :P |
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