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Dooflatch
Contributed by
sir_odd87
on
Sunday, 29th March 2009 @ 11:59:59 AM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
I am a walking combination
Of everyone I've ever met
Of everything that's happened to me
And all the things that haven't yet
I still feel very incomplete
And I wonder what is missing
Like being unable to find a leak
In a tire that's constantly hissing
I have two shoulders you don't lean on
Two lips that you aren't kissing
Two hands that you aren't holding
I think you might be what I'm missing
Without you, I am unfinished
It's now so easy to see
If you'd let me be a part of you
You'd be what completes me.
Copyright ©
sir_odd87
... [
2009-03-29 11:59:59]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Dooflatch
(User Rating: 1 )
by elle on
Sunday, 29th March 2009 @ 02:33:01 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| nice. . . I like the word your grandmother created. pleasant ending to a good write. peace. elle |
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Re: Dooflatch
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Monday, 30th March 2009 @ 02:23:13 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| entertaining..and also a good write. venkat |
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Re: Dooflatch
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 30th March 2009 @ 07:45:13 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
one of the best poems i've read in a while. i like the quirky title, original metaphors and passionate tone. i like this bit in particular:
I still feel very incomplete
And I wonder what is missing
Like being unable to find a leak
In a tire that's constantly hissing
great work, an immensely enjoyable read. 5/5.
-phil |
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Re: Dooflatch
(User Rating: 1 )
by crmnlilbruno on
Monday, 30th March 2009 @ 11:43:18 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Well written, Nice and strait to the point, Well done |
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