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Times
Contributed by
shaonkra
on
Monday, 30th March 2009 @ 05:57:30 PM in AEST
Topic:
toughstuff
|
These are spectacular times
For emaculate minds
Needing pragmatic paradigms
As we stand static in-line
Think the masses are fine?
They turned their asses to crime
And spittin paranoid rhymes instead o' sippin glasses of wine
Oh what massive a mind..
To tax our staggering times
That leaves us cashless, trashed and dash'd into a passive demise
Copyright ©
shaonkra
... [
2009-03-30 17:57:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Times
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dissolvedlines on
Monday, 30th March 2009 @ 09:21:59 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| Interesting thoughts and nice flow and rhyme in this piece...excellent write. |
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Re: Times
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 31st March 2009 @ 07:23:27 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| It was sounding great right up until "turned their assess to crime" at which point the rhyming started sounding increasingly contrived and it lost the vast majority of its meaning. |
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Re: Times
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 31st March 2009 @ 06:33:02 PM AEST
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you cut to the heart of the truth with such eloquence. great work.
-phil |
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