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looking back, wishing forward
Contributed by
polaris773
on
Monday, 13th April 2009 @ 11:47:34 PM in AEST
Topic:
MiscPoems
|
Im not sure why
She keeps looking at me
But Im sure she knows
Ive been looking back
Ive been looking back for a while
Maybe she will be the one
To move me forward
So I dont have to look backwards
The look on her face says
Shes thirsty and her eyes say lonely
I send her a drink and smile
The smile she sends, thanks me
If I were a better man
I would talk to her and get her name
Looking back I should have
I want to see her smile every morning
Copyright ©
polaris773
... [
2009-04-13 23:47:34]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: looking back, wishing forward
(User Rating: 1 )
by 3660Days on
Tuesday, 14th April 2009 @ 01:21:26 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| To the point, good imagery, not too choppy, not too amateurish. I really liked the ending. I give you 4/5 for it's own merit, 5/5 by ypdc standards. Well done. |
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Re: looking back, wishing forward
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 14th April 2009 @ 11:05:10 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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good writing, the imagery was powerful and the climax was superb.
-Phil |
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