|
Menu
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
My Voice
Contributed by
2Deep4U
on
Thursday, 16th April 2009 @ 05:37:55 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
The verbal passage way that embodies my soul Is an entity that emits an energy That is truely an enigma.
It's a fiece force that can Move you, bend you, Burn you or heal you.
I don't fully understand it completely myself, but I do know that the quality of it seen From the periphial could blot out any sun Or stop any war.
The presence of my voice demands attention And it is a siren to those who hear it. They are drawn in to the passion That is fueled by the eternal flame Inside of me.
This fire is so immense in magnitude That I can barely keep it under control. So I don't try.
I let out my dragon's breathe And burn cold hearts with it's intense heat Igniting the flames inside of them.
With it I will produce words so beautiful The world will stop and marvel in it's sweet marinade.
Can you hear the beat? A beat that trembles with my hunger for knowledge. This ain't a random noise done by heathens. No, it beats to the rhythm of love.
Love for God, Love for mankind And for unity.
Because together in harmony we create a melondy of truth not deluded with the noisy disturbance of human behavior, but strengthened with the serenity of our conciousness.
Copyright ©
2Deep4U
... [
2009-04-16 17:37:55] (Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment. That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: My Voice
(User Rating: 1 ) by seibeltj on
Thursday, 16th April 2009 @ 07:22:53 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
For only a fourth poem, this poem is powerful. I know you said the poem was inspired by A Brave New Voice, but I'm not familiar with the show. If this was your own format, then it was put together very nicely. Well done. |
|
|
Re: My Voice
(User Rating: 1 ) by 3660Days on
Thursday, 16th April 2009 @ 11:38:40 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Straight away I noticed your fine use of alliteration, for example "e" in stanza 1, "w" in stanza 7, etc.
For a fourth poem I think you show a nice command of language, but I didn't feel a great emotional connection to this poem, like I couldn't relate to it as a reader.
Hoping to read more from you very soon. |
|
|
Re: My Voice
(User Rating: 1 ) by ever1der on
Friday, 17th April 2009 @ 01:57:01 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Nice job overall. Most of us desire to write poetry that will stop the world or at least leave a lasting impression. By the way, did you mean breath in L 19? It says breathe ... the act of breathing. Just wondered |
|
|
Re: My Voice
(User Rating: 1 ) by kye on
Friday, 17th April 2009 @ 07:13:29 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
This was a uniquely written poem. I don't think i've ever read one like it and that made it vastly interesting and wonderful.
May your quest for knowledge, inspire more poems from you. I look forward to it.
Kie |
|
|
|