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It's You That Hurts Me
Contributed by
TUNA530
on
Thursday, 16th April 2009 @ 09:13:33 PM in AEST
Topic:
DreamsandWishes
|
There is this dream that possesses me every night, every single time I close my eyes I see that same thing. Each hour and day I wonder about it, seeing that face it takes my sight. In my dream I saw you; I saw you smiling at me, warmly and lovingly. I still have this feeling; I always have this deep curiosity in the thought of love. Darkness covers me and I feel your touch, embracing me in that comfort you hold. Light surrounds me and I sense your presence, covering me with your love, in your scent. This searing pain I feel in my chest, it hurts so much I cant stand it any longer. I feel you, I see you, and I hear you, all my senses are you. I am wounded, love has wounded me. There are so many questions unanswered and so many things unseen, my love is one of them, invisible and hard to understand. This pain each night makes me toss and turn, my dream controlling me, my love taking me over. This hurting inside for you, its never going to stop until I have you. Will you take me? Will you lie in my arms as I hold you tight? Will you be with me forever? Its you that hurts me, so its your job to now heal me with your kiss.
Copyright ©
TUNA530
... [
2009-04-16 21:13:33]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: It's You That Hurts Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by 3660Days on
Thursday, 16th April 2009 @ 11:44:16 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| There is some good imagery here, and the concept is something i think anyone can relate to. That alone is a great beginning. I thought the beginning was stronger than the ending. |
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Re: It's You That Hurts Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by ever1der on
Friday, 17th April 2009 @ 11:37:49 AM AEST
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"I feel you, I see you, and I hear you, all my senses are you. "
I really like that line and the ending ... heal me with a kiss.
You may be a teenager but writing seems to come natural.
Keep it up ... talent is there if I know anything. I feel like the supreme court justice ... I can't define it but I know it when I see it :D |
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Re: It's You That Hurts Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by 2Deep4U on
Friday, 17th April 2009 @ 07:28:22 PM AEST
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| I like the concept because most ppl has had that person in their life. It's good but I think it would have helped if you made it flow more. |
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