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Tuesday morning.
Contributed by
sanguine
on
Friday, 17th April 2009 @ 04:51:59 AM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
Long days and short months;
funny how time fades away.
you never notice till its already gone.
days full of nothing;.
clinging.
reaching .
for a reason why.
Why; life is this way.
Why;does it go on.
Why;things, just are.
Tired; of waiting.
Tired; of "fate"& self destructive thoughts .
Tired; of the way things are.
Hopeful; of whats to come.
Hopeful; despite of himself.
Hopeful; just, hopeful
Copyright ©
sanguine
... [
2009-04-17 04:51:59]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Tuesday morning.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Aspirant on
Saturday, 18th April 2009 @ 06:51:20 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Simple and to the point, I like it. Your description is fitting and witty, lol. Interesting use of semicolons. You managed to stay positive even after the rather negative start, which is always commendable in my book. One question though: do you really believe in staying hopeful, or could you just not bear to end the poem at line 12? If you do, what is the source of that hope?
My poem "the city" seems to be along the same lines, but goes about it in a less direct way. I'd be interested to hear what you think of it. |
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