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My poem i hate
Contributed by
imabillier
on
Thursday, 7th May 2009 @ 05:37:51 PM in AEST
Topic:
happypoetry
|
One time during English class
My teach asked me to write her a poem about some stuff
I'm not good at poetry
So i said i have had enough
When i look at a page the words are always placed
In a weird looking way
That i never can't understand
Even if i try hour by hour
There's poems about everything
Like computers, toys, and trees
I would go crazy
if i had to write them
She told me poetry is like music
But em music makes sense
With em rappers rapping in the streets
Are never soft of dense
So I'm telling my English teacher
That I'm not gonna do anything bout it
I did what i could do with poetry
But in the end poetry ain't got me and i ain't got poetry
Copyright ©
imabillier
... [
2009-05-07 17:37:51]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My poem i hate
(User Rating: 1 )
by Voice of the Silent on
Thursday, 7th May 2009 @ 06:31:44 PM AEST
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You ain't got english either apparently
I give the poem a tin out of tin with your grammar. But I do like what you've wrote with you pin. Different.
(spelling errors meant)
hope to read more soon
-kelly |
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Re: My poem i hate
(User Rating: 1 )
by Gravehorn on
Thursday, 7th May 2009 @ 06:45:10 PM AEST
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I'll agree with the last line, poetry isn't working for you.
"But em music makes sense
With em rappers rapping in the streets
Are never soft of dense."
-That doesn't make any sense
The only thing poetic about this is the mismatched and intermittent rhyme scheme.
If you would like to write well, I would suggest reading some good poetry and learn the devices used by the poets. |
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Re: My poem i hate
(User Rating: 1 )
by ever1der on
Thursday, 7th May 2009 @ 07:09:45 PM AEST
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In as much as it tells a story, it is affective. The reader knows and fully understands that poetry is not your thing. Rap is poetry though as are any lyrics ... The thing about it is, this could be really good if you were willing to work on it. If this is really your attitude I don't know why you are here ... I think you're joking.
About poetic devices ... well, it's a shame that people comment and mention them but don't bother to tell you what they are, If you want to know here is a good link.
http://www.kyrene.org/schools/brisas/Sunda/poets/poetry2.htm |
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