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Stray thoughts in traffic
Contributed by
spike
on
Tuesday, 21st July 2009 @ 06:53:34 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
A metal snake, writhing all;
the vehicles concertina-crawl
cradling all those travellers deep
within their private thoughts.
The cars, jammed, move like snails
while overhead, vapour trails
streak the sky in snow-white lines
that linger like a dream;
that hold the air like sweet perfume,
or memories that make you swoon,
of lips and arms and passion spent
beneath a lovers gaze
Store the dreams and memory bliss
for sublunary times like this,
deep within the palace of the
construct of your mind;
or locked inside that heart-shaped clock
that dwells alone on lovers rock,
supping on this nectar while
it ticks away the days.
Copyright ©
spike
... [
2009-07-21 06:53:34]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Stray thoughts in traffic
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Tuesday, 21st July 2009 @ 11:05:38 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Loved the picture and the write,
(a metal snake) dang that is awesome.
Rush hour stinks for sure lol.
Hugs
Michelle |
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Re: Stray thoughts in traffic
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 22nd July 2009 @ 12:44:07 PM AEST
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This was superb. You made the most of mundaneness. I loved how it flowed.
-phil |
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Re: Stray thoughts in traffic
(User Rating: 1 )
by elle on
Wednesday, 29th July 2009 @ 07:00:13 AM AEST
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The entire piece is suspiciously causual but without a hint of non-challance.
It lulls one into the depths of stratigic daydreaming. I especially love the last stanza.
Great job! :) elle |
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Re: Stray thoughts in traffic
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadwriter on
Thursday, 6th August 2009 @ 07:00:17 PM AEST
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A truly great piece of writing about a subject that stirs such fierce emotions. Very calming with a different point of view displayed.
Deadwriter
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Re: Stray thoughts in traffic
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 16th August 2009 @ 12:38:06 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Isn't it amazing the myriad of thoughts that can go through our minds while stuck in traffic?
And I simple have to literally lol at the pic. Invisible drivers and seems the only creature stirring (or should I say visible) is a canine friend. :D
Thank you for an enjoyable read.
Tim |
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