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Hang over
Contributed by
one-curly-fry
on
Friday, 14th August 2009 @ 04:41:42 AM in AEST
Topic:
drugabuse
|
It doesnt feel as it should
colours seem lethargic
time drifts like a bored kid
- kicking that tin
You dont seem that important
your comfort seems hollow
yesterday left in a wild haze
dancing and drinking til dawn
half a day asleep
the other half on the couch
wondering if Ill ever feel good again
forever this seems the pattern
socially acceptable
somewhat expected
fermented laughter
the cheap kisses
great moments forgotten by dawn
the brain abused
the liver weakened
brought up too high
now heres the crash.
8/7/2009
Copyright ©
one-curly-fry
... [
2009-08-14 04:41:42]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Hang over
(User Rating: 1 )
by spud on
Friday, 14th August 2009 @ 07:56:39 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Yip! I've been there!
After reading it I almost felt hungover.
Particularly like the last 4 lines - says it all!
Well written, well done!
Tommy
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Re: Hang over
(User Rating: 1 )
by orphani on
Friday, 14th August 2009 @ 11:42:57 AM AEST
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great use of metaphor and keen imagery
hope you make it to
write many more-if this is biographical
o |
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Re: Hang over
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 17th August 2009 @ 10:44:05 AM AEST
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Good insight.
-Phil |
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Re: Hang over
(User Rating: 1 )
by elle on
Thursday, 20th August 2009 @ 06:27:16 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Nicely done, Tim! Spot on the experience. . . keen wording. . . you really took me there. elle :) |
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