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Your ghost in the rain
Contributed by
shelby
on
Saturday, 15th August 2009 @ 01:46:49 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Rush hour again
and the buzz of the city.
The clouds all dark
the weather soon to be rainy.
Summer storm
rounding the bend,
walking in traffic
and suddenly then.....
The shadows and mist
the rain began to pour down
and off in the distance
I thought I saw you.
A vision so haunting
it stunned me in my tracks
I lost track of a moment
my heart raced a bit.
I stopped and stared,
long and hard
brushing the rain off my face.
It couldn't be, it couldn't be.
Someone who looked so much like you.
I peered in the rain, looked past the city
then as suddenly as I saw the person
he had walked on,
the light had changed
it was now my turn......
I thought of you for a moment.
The rain hid my tears,
thought about you over the years
the years since you were taken....
the year that you died......
A stranger in the rain,
tis true, he looked just like you
it haunted me for moments
as the rain ran down my face,
Looking back once more
he had disappeared far from view
but for one brief moment
I thought I had seen you
then knowing.......
It was just your ghost in the rain.
Copyright ©
shelby
... [
2009-08-15 13:46:49]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Your ghost in the rain
(User Rating: 1 )
by orphani on
Saturday, 15th August 2009 @ 02:15:45 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
everything comes together to spark the senses
confusion, mood of weather ,sense of loss,
that out of place sense of,impossible hope
that is still clinging.
still a little raw. try to make this beautiful piece
magnificent.
o |
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Re: Your ghost in the rain
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 15th August 2009 @ 02:28:00 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I believe, if they can, they come back to visit. Awesome poem my dear. |
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Re: Your ghost in the rain
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Saturday, 15th August 2009 @ 02:49:31 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I've been neglecting your page. I remembered our conversation the other day and when I saw that you had posted, I jumped in.
... I'm glad for it.
You haven't lost your touch hun, your poems still run and flow so well, and offer that nice touch of feeling, in this case, a type of nostalgia and sadness.
Good write.
*hugs*
Phil xxx |
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Re: Your ghost in the rain
(User Rating: 1 )
by Mars on
Saturday, 15th August 2009 @ 09:58:44 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Wonderful! Even more so with such eloquent use of broken rhyme! I congratulate you for such a vivid piece! |
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Re: Your ghost in the rain
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Sunday, 16th August 2009 @ 01:15:59 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Fantabulas as is.
When they wonna get our attention they find a way.
Beautifull write girl.
Luvs ya,
emy |
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Re: Your ghost in the rain
(User Rating: 1 )
by Daylynn_Van_Wyk on
Sunday, 16th August 2009 @ 01:28:35 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| My new favourite poem, i love it. Keep up da beautiful writing:) |
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Re: Your ghost in the rain
(User Rating: 1 )
by kye on
Sunday, 16th August 2009 @ 07:08:56 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Shelby, your poem had every element that I love to read in a poem, true & graceful feelings.
It is poetically beautiful, descriptive and moving. The title summarizes the aspects of your poem.
My heart was quietly whispering "stay". On some level, I could relate and once again you grabbed a hold of my subconscious and my heart.
Kie |
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