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The Race
Contributed by
Capian
on
Friday, 28th August 2009 @ 07:57:03 PM in AEST
Topic:
ChildrensPoetry
|
So you think you can win
Speaking of your victory before we begin
The crowd full of life full of familiar faces
Then the sun soaked track ready to put us through our paces
At your marks get set and go
The gun sounds with a sudden blow
The wind swirling, circling, gushing by
Faster than a bullet faster than birds fly
The moments seem to hang in the air
Eyes set on the finish line with a constant glare
Drawing closer to our goal almost in reach
The roar of the crowd, my ears, it seems to breach
Reaching the finish line but realizing not first
The feeling of failure is simply the worst
Taking deep breaths each one creating more pain
This was my race but on my parade you seemed to rain
This was my race I trained so hard
This was my race I swear I was ahead by a yard
This was my race to be won by me
This was my race to win so everyone could see
Congratulations I said with a forced smile
But in my mind I said next time Ill beat you by a mile
Next time Im going to beat your skinny ass
Thats right, keep smiling cause youll be face down in the grass
Copyright ©
Capian
... [
2009-08-28 19:57:03]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Race
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 28th August 2009 @ 08:02:44 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I love the confidence and determination of the writer, especially at the end.
It's a very healthy attitude to take , when you find yourself coming up
short. The rhyme and rhythm in this was impeccable and you told the story
very well. Excellent post! :)
~ Breezy |
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Re: The Race
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Friday, 28th August 2009 @ 08:30:48 PM AEST
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Well done!! I love how you changed disappointment into a challenge and a promise to make a winning destiny for yourself... Keep it up..
Jenni |
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Re: The Race
(User Rating: 1 )
by Maygee on
Monday, 9th August 2010 @ 05:26:28 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| I really enjoyed the imagery I got from the poem :) The ending was also very well done I really liked it =] |
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