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Cloak
Contributed by
Capian
on
Tuesday, 15th September 2009 @ 06:49:15 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Helpless haunting hollow prayers
Standing silently the reaper glares
Behind a cloak the gunman prepares
In a clock tower focused he stares
Bang, bang
He fires his round
Heavy, happy a heavenly sound
He is invisible from the ground
Excitement in his chest hearts a pound
Secret silent solemn to the row
Victims so unprepared for the blow
Stock-still he waits like a crow
Ready for round two he begins to grow
Bang, bang
Exorcising pain from within
Breathing light surrounded by sin
Testing, taunting, torments begin
Bang its over the demons win.
Copyright ©
Capian
... [
2009-09-15 06:49:15]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Cloak
(User Rating: 1 )
by TsunamiWaverider on
Tuesday, 15th September 2009 @ 07:01:57 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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Well written. If i could make one small suggestion....change
"Bang – it’s over the demons win." to
"BANG! It's all over - the demons win!"
It just looks more emphatic.
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