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hurt.
Contributed by
FleurdeSang
on
Wednesday, 2nd December 2009 @ 11:15:37 AM in AEST
Topic:
anguished
|
I cannot justify this hurt.
It chews very slowly, the sinew and marrow that I long to caress
after what seems like a century
without your fatal ashes, without madness
as wings .
There have been phantoms, but they do not whisper with
your wet voice -
like a river without a name
kissing stones that taste like love if you wish hard enough.
| a bird crumbles beneath the weight
of an unforgiving sky
it learns that just because it has wings,
does not mean it deserves to fly. |
I will confess to you that this is all very pointless -
I wish I could give you more than just words.
they have been threadbare
at best,
stripped
of the ache that haunts
every unwanted
breath,
and i am envious
of their purity.
I hate the clothes that do not scream with your poetry
I hate that I cannot breathe you in, and s u f f o c a t e ,
and become
something less empty,
that i cannot sink and leave
the tiniest piece of myself
in your arms.
i made sure that my heart never whispered too loudly
and
at times i would let it
lay on its side
and dream
for awhile
long enough to where the marks your hands left were the only scars
made with love
your eyes were like a fractured sort of heaven
dull oceans
frozen rain
sapphire tombs that
i often whispered to
and died in
and slowly,
as slow
as pain,
as kisses longed for, but never given,
I become the name you can never recall.
I love you.
Copyright ©
FleurdeSang
... [
2009-12-02 11:15:37]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: hurt.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 2nd December 2009 @ 11:29:25 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Goodness gracious, you write amazingly!!!
"I become the name you can never recall"
Fanfreakingtastic !!!
Also, made me wanna say a genuine "aw" :-( and give ya' a genuine hug
Tim
(who thinks you can be justified) |
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Re: hurt.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 3rd December 2009 @ 01:38:44 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow. I shall repeat once again, you are one of the best poets on this site. You write ultra-creatively and ultra-beautifully. It's a shame that you only post sporadically because when you do post, it is absolute genius. Here are my favourite bits:
'the sinew and marrow that I long to caress
after what seems like a century
without your fatal ashes, without madness
as wings .'
A stunning bit of imagery.
'a bird crumbles beneath the weight
of an unforgiving sky
it learns that just because it has wings,
does not mean it deserves to fly.'
An interesting little segment, with a great metaphor.
'I hate the clothes that do not scream with your poetry'
That had a beautiful rhythm and spoke absolute volumes.
'and slowly,
as slow
as pain,
as kisses longed for, but never given,
I become the name you can never recall.'
Superbly structured for maximum power and effect.
This is the best poem i've read on here for a long, long time.
-Phil |
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Re: hurt.
(User Rating: 1 )
by karoody on
Thursday, 3rd December 2009 @ 02:27:19 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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what is there to say
when the above comments say it all
this is an amazing piece
thank you
kara |
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