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Quiet.
Contributed by
weepingprophet
on
Saturday, 5th December 2009 @ 05:31:26 PM in AEST
Topic:
anguished
|
Some days you peek up at me through the mess
I cover my eyes in abrupt resolve
Licking at a wound that won't heal
It won't heal
I pull the covers over my head again and try to forget
Nights when I peeled them back and crept out of bed so softly
Down the hall to the bathroom, but didn't turn on the light
I didn't want to risk waking you
And felt the cold linoleum below my feet
Toes shivered and sent prickling fear up my spine
Quiet
Shhh.
I huddled by the toilet, rocking back and forth with my knees bent
My arms locked over them to balance myself in front of the altar
On nights when you slept sound
I met with my maker in the dark and cold confines of a bathroom
Whispered between sobs how hopeless I was
Helpless, needy
Until vomit exploded in spurts unto the altar
I would have done other things, but you knew me
Searched my arms for marks, looked, examined, scoured
So I offered something else to satisfy my hurt
Reached up and flushed once as to not alarm you
The evidence spiraled away
I ran the water in drops and brushed my teeth for a long time
Then shook on the walk back to the bedroom
Back to your prison, warden
Remember, remember all the meetings I had with a divine being
Bowed to my own self-loathing and wanting so much more
Out, to be free
To be worth something
On nights when you slept sound
I met with my maker and pleaded for life
Pleaded for something more
Or a demise, a resolve
I built altars and offered sacrafices
Unnecessarily
To be worth something
To be free
I remember now, with you peeking up at me
That I never needed anything more than me
To meet with a divine being
Here in the dimly lit room of a new life
My eyes blink open and I peel back the covers
Slide out of bed and listen to the sound of my knees hitting the floor
Lips pressed together, tightly sealed
And a new conversation hangs in the air
I am not hopeless
Not helpless
Abba, divine maker
I am no longer needy
No longer worthless
No longer
Quiet.
Copyright ©
weepingprophet
... [
2009-12-05 17:31:26]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Quiet.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Waynster on
Monday, 22nd February 2016 @ 07:14:02 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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This is the 2nd poem of yours I have read. There is something about the way you write or the way you use your words, but you do capture my attention. Love it! Keep on writing.
Wayne |
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Re: Quiet.
(User Rating: 1 )
by In_a_while on
Monday, 14th October 2019 @ 07:18:03 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Beautiful. Yours is the first poem I/'/ve read in years. I came back to read some of what I wrote more than a decade ago and found I couldn/'/t. But your work I found instead, beautiful.
I hope time has found you well, if you ever see this. Thank you for your kind words so many years ago
dw
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