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WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES
Contributed by
jdwright
on
Saturday, 12th December 2009 @ 02:06:13 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
When I Close My Eyes
Every time as I lay in the darkness
No matter how hard my mind tries
I see your face, I feel your touch
When I Close My Eyes
I lay there with my thoughts
As the memory of you never Dies
Like it is burned in there forever
When I Close My Eyes
I have so many things that burden me
Small or Large no matter the Size
I can always lose myself in your fantasy
When I Close My Eyes
I remember every moment, touch and kiss
That my heart to you ties
All I feel and felt comes rushing back to me
When I Close My Eyes
Every curve and line with that smile
And sparkle that was such a prize
I can see its brilliance and feel its radiance
When I Close My Eyes
The Love and The Warmth from your caress
My heart can always recognize
Even if I can only have it now
When I Close My Eyes
Your memory is always there to comfort me
My tears it helps subside
I know for sure that your still with me
When I Close My Eyes
I thank God for your memory, my broken
Spirit it can always help to Rise
I always get a little magic from it
When I Close My Eyes
Even though right now we cant be together
And thats something that I despise
I dont worry cause I know We will be
When I Close My Eyes.
JD Wright
12/12/2009
Copyright ©
jdwright
... [
2009-12-12 14:06:13]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES
(User Rating: 1 )
by Balmain_Tiger on
Saturday, 12th December 2009 @ 02:17:29 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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Very good writing, great realisation well executed verse. Always very hard to keep the rhyme going.
everything flowed nicely,
All but for the 7th stanza where you lost the rhyme with subside.
there must be another rhythmic word to replace subside and still keep the thoughts and feeling good.
An otherwise great effort and enjoyable write
Peter |
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