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Mind Games
Contributed by
desolantdreamer
on
Sunday, 7th March 2010 @ 11:54:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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forbidden want and forbidden need a broken bond still frowned upon but the things you do and the things you say leave me wondering if you feel the same but in the end I know it's true you're a mental terrorist an emotional sadist my mind, my heart, my soul just toys for you to play with acting innocent and feigning sweetness I see it in that sickeningly beautiful smile crooked with deceit and your eyes shine with mischief such cruel beauty am I a masochist? falling for someone so perfectly malevolent it's sinful, these feelings towards you and I can't tell if you're laughing at them or returning them lately all you say I question everything out of your mouth I search in your eyes, your tone for hints of laughter, of a joke only you are aware of it's so painfully sweet the false hope you embed in my soul with the shred of dignity I have left I should walk away forget this torture but in the end I'm not strong enough your games are too addicting because in my heart I wish more than anything it was more than just a game to you that the sweet, confusing, tormenting words were secretly truths you win.
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Copyright ©
desolantdreamer
... [
2010-03-07 23:54:00] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Mind Games
(User Rating: 1 ) by Inchiostro on
Monday, 8th March 2010 @ 12:18:41 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I really like the opening, but i think it might be more powerful if you break it up into stanzas.
It would make it easier to digest each segment rather then having the reader feel like they must intake the whole thing at once.
But the imagery you paint is very powerful, i know i have personally been in those kinds of situations and it is HELLISH.
These is just my own personal opinion do with it as you will.
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Re: Mind Games
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Monday, 8th March 2010 @ 01:01:38 AM AEST (User
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I love a lot of the descriptive terms you use in this, like mental terrorist, emotional sadist, and perfectly malevolent.
This is a very potent write and wow can I relate to it. I know some much like the one you describe.
Nicely done and keep up the good work.
Thanks,
Tim
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Re: Mind Games
(User Rating: 1 ) by The_Phantom on
Monday, 8th March 2010 @ 07:15:59 AM AEST (User
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Powerful, it drew me in and never let go, an awsome read, thanks for sharing.
The Phantom |
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