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My poetry's command (a rewrite)
Contributed by
iodinelove
on
Sunday, 11th April 2010 @ 10:57:20 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
I have written you on a thousand pages, a thousand more and still your form eludes me.
I have written the flowers of your lips, locks of heather in your hair, the tower of your breasts defy me, your eyesI have written the sun setting on fields of golden feathers in your eyes, a private sky, and still your frame forbids me.
To complete you, I could write your skin is moonlight and honey, or your hair is an autumn harvest waiting for the snow, but I cannot write your eyes downcast, your laughter torn asunder. I cannot write your dreams, the mute and sounding thunder.
With all your love to bind my fingers into place, and your frail wrists my fingers come to cross, I cannot place you in my thoughts, I cannot face you in my dreams, your figure, form, and frame a free bird refusing to be caged.
With every word written, your beauty fades, and with every sentence, I begin to lose my way, but of your grace and by my poetrys command, I will contain, or perhaps, hold witness with these words, the immensity of your love.
Copyright ©
iodinelove
... [
2010-04-11 22:57:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My poetry's command (a rewrite)
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Sunday, 11th April 2010 @ 11:15:01 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Well hello there Abe.
It's always good to read your awesome writing. It's mystifying Really good job.,
huggs, smiles, blessings,
emy |
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Re: My poetry's command (a rewrite)
(User Rating: 1 )
by spud on
Monday, 12th April 2010 @ 01:01:36 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Hi,
A love poem short on cliches and strong on
originality.
Well done!
Tommy
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