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Cutting Shame
Contributed by
aliopterix
on
Wednesday, 14th April 2010 @ 11:16:33 PM in AEST
Topic:
self-harmpoetry
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Cutting Shame
His troubles and worries, sadness and strife
Took on physical form, wrapping round his spine.
Tightening and twisting the constriction was agonizing.
A band of indecision and doubt formed around his chest
And like a tourniquet cut off the blood to his heart.
The weight of the world lay firmly on his chest and he struggled for breath,
Sweat pouring down his face mixing with tears.
He imagined the gates of Hell opening before him,
The heat burning his body
Screams of the fallen deafening him.
He stared at the knife lying on the table and without thinking picked it up.
Without thinking the cutting began, his arms flowing red.
This was no attempt at suicide but ritual self castigation
The bloodletting freeing the bonds of pain.
Gradually his breathing became steady
The bonds of constriction releasing their hold.
Looking down at his bloodied arms the feeling of relief
Changed quickly to shame and he cried once again.
Alistair Muir 14/0402010
Copyright ©
aliopterix
... [
2010-04-14 23:16:33]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Cutting Shame
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Wednesday, 14th April 2010 @ 11:49:19 PM AEST
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-This is so sad but enlightening. I'm happy to know that it's days gone by.
Great writing.
blessings,
emy |
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Re: Cutting Shame
(User Rating: 1 )
by Chamaron on
Friday, 16th April 2010 @ 10:12:15 AM AEST
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"He imagined the gates of Hell opening before him,
The heat burning his body
Screams of the fallen deafening him."
This speaks so loudly I can almost hear the screams.
I'm glad you clarified that it wasn't an attempt at suicide, but rather used the reason many cutters subscribe to as an expression of anguish and a physical attempt to release it. Many don't quite understand the concept.
But of course, I'm also glad you ended this cycle in shame. It always comes. Keep writing and keep healing. |
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Re: Cutting Shame
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 17th April 2010 @ 07:13:49 AM AEST
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Al, this is so acutely painful. I am one of those that doesn't understand reasons behind the ritual of purging through self-harm, but I do understand the anguish, the grief and the hopelessness that spurs that moment. It grieves me, but I am happy you have overcome the demons and seem to be on your way to a much happier and fulfilling existence. :)
Thank you for posting this. It helps to know we are, none of us, alone. ^_^
take care,
Seléne ~
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Re: Cutting Shame
(User Rating: 1 )
by CrimsonTears on
Wednesday, 19th May 2010 @ 11:43:09 PM AEST
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i know this shame all too well....great write...the imagery is fantastic.
Lots of Love
CrimsonTears |
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