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madi
Contributed by
deepviolet
on
Tuesday, 1st June 2010 @ 06:11:24 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
you come over and we lie in bed
me on the edge and you by the head
we talk for a bit and you turn out the light
i lie next to you and you hold on tight
i love the feeling of your hand on my side
let's lie like this all through the night
and i look at your face when you don't know i am
and i think to myself, what a beautiful man
in the morning we snuggle because it is cold
i feel great though your armpit is under my nose
you need to wake up, you've got something to do
i lie and watch you as you tie up your shoe
you leave and i feel like there's something i've lost
i get in the shower to scrub it all off
then my friend calls, she wants to meet up with me
so i go and pretend that i don't need you here, oh
Copyright ©
deepviolet
... [
2010-06-01 18:11:24]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: madi
(User Rating: 1 )
by fish on
Wednesday, 2nd June 2010 @ 02:54:48 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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good craft, i love every bid of this poem. the first two stanzas created a tension and anxiety to find out what happens next, but your third stanza brought in humour and diverted attention from from the first picture you have drawn.
i must say this piece is beautiful, keep penning. |
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