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a fathers fear
Contributed by
boredtrucker
on
Sunday, 25th July 2010 @ 07:38:07 PM in AEST
Topic:
FamilyPoems
|
i walked a long walk to get from where i was
alot of that long walkk has ended up
as nothing in memory more than slight fuzz
now i have a son whos not old at all
but as i look at my foot marks
hes following them one by one
its so easy to see where hes gonna fall
i reach my hands and arms out
but i dont know if theyll be long enough
will i get throuygh
will he see the signs
oohhh hes on his knees
i tripped on that one too
maybe hell learn to listen
maybe he wont after all
that cliff i fell off of isnt far way
will i get thru in time
Copyright ©
boredtrucker
... [
2010-07-25 19:38:07]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: a fathers fear
(User Rating: 1 )
by fatalpath on
Sunday, 25th July 2010 @ 07:55:51 PM AEST
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Nice work. Favorite line; "oohhh hes on his knees, i tripped on that one too"
Just touch up on spelling, other than that to me it touched base on everything. Including imagery |
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Re: a fathers fear
(User Rating: 1 )
by LovingWhispers on
Sunday, 25th July 2010 @ 08:49:10 PM AEST
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You gather your thoughts and feeling well,then fill the canvas with such universal relativity.
I certainly can relate to watching a child growing,and taking much the same footsteps as my own.
But just as we learned our lessons,so must they.
Excellent piece!!
Blessings
LW |
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Re: a fathers fear
(User Rating: 1 )
by lesoleilnoire on
Sunday, 25th July 2010 @ 09:16:46 PM AEST
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A great poem. It had so much feeling within it. Your concern for your son show's he's likely to have help on his journey by you. I wish you and your son luck.
Heidi |
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Re: a fathers fear
(User Rating: 1 )
by spud on
Monday, 26th July 2010 @ 05:34:22 AM AEST
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Hi,
As a father of two sons I can connect with this one.
Well written, my friend.
Tommy
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Re: a fathers fear
(User Rating: 1 )
by northernlights on
Monday, 26th July 2010 @ 07:24:21 AM AEST
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| Your love and concern for your son is made abundantly clear in this so whatever path your son takes he will always be assured of his father, that is gold in this life and many children dont have that, from the heart well expressed |
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