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First Sleep
Contributed by
debris
on
Sunday, 5th September 2010 @ 06:15:04 AM in AEST
Topic:
goodbyepoetry
|
The call came just as I was
climbing the stairs to bed.
My brother, a hoarseness in his voice,
telling me that you were gone.
The rattle in your chest
no longer the background music
to his nightly call.
I felt both heavy and light,
like gravity was pulling me upwards for a change.
I thought a million thoughts
and was grounded
by the beeping of the disconnected line.
The 'phone unplugged, I slept all night.
The first night in weeks,
knowing that you were sleeping too.
Copyright ©
debris
... [
2010-09-05 06:15:04]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: First Sleep
(User Rating: 1 )
by spud on
Sunday, 5th September 2010 @ 08:25:55 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Hi,
A quite unique way to say goodbye to someone
who was obviously very close.
Well written - stay strong.
Tommy
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Re: First Sleep
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 5th September 2010 @ 12:38:05 PM AEST
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| very sweet, must be hard. |
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Re: First Sleep
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 5th September 2010 @ 02:45:59 PM AEST
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A very mature expression of death and loss. I've cried when people have died, and there's nothing wrong with that; but death doesn't have to be a soul-destroying event. It can relieve suffering, it gives our lives meaning. This a poem about acceptance, we should all learn to accept death as a sad event, but ultimately inevitable.
-Phil |
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Re: First Sleep
(User Rating: 1 )
by thebadguy9999 on
Sunday, 5th September 2010 @ 08:13:28 PM AEST
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| nice |
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Re: First Sleep
(User Rating: 1 )
by cashfan1 on
Monday, 6th September 2010 @ 11:40:47 AM AEST
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| A comanding piece of writing. Well expressed and very sensitively dealt with. well done. |
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Re: First Sleep
(User Rating: 1 )
by elle on
Tuesday, 7th September 2010 @ 10:41:10 PM AEST
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This is such a lovely piece & I agree with everyone's comment but especially Phil's. . . such is the purity of love, disquised as acceptance but truly & unabashedly humble in it's decree.
Moreover, I am impressed by the simplicity & the complexity of your feelings as they reveal themselves in the lines "I felt both heavy & light, like gravity was pulling me upwards" & "I thought a million thoughts & was grounded". In these simple contradictions we find the real crux of it all.
Life is in league with death & death would not exist without life. We will all end. We will all be until we are not. We will all be, evermore yet not here, not on this plane, that we've known & loved. . . where we are known & loved. Not on this same pivotal dimension that sheds us like falling rain. In lue of this, we know not what we'll have. . . until then we really only have each other. . . & when we loose each other, then we only have ourselves. . . & if we're receptive & conscious, perhaps we've a concept of our creator instilled with the hope that after all, we are truly loved, cherished, prepared for, annointed & received into the hands of that most sought after truth. Blessed be. . . elle |
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Re: First Sleep
(User Rating: 1 )
by ming on
Friday, 10th September 2010 @ 10:28:40 AM AEST
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This is a great tribute...loved this line;
'I felt both heavy and light,
like gravity was pulling me upwards for a change'
ming |
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Re: First Sleep
(User Rating: 1 )
by wallerdude on
Thursday, 27th January 2011 @ 12:06:55 PM AEST
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| absolutly good... loved it all |
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