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Sitting Ducks
Contributed by
hauntedscorp
on
Monday, 6th September 2010 @ 08:19:45 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
On the tumbling breath of trepidation
Tippy toe further with hesitation
Peering over the razored ledge
Shards of glass on a jagged edge
Throw a stone at the barren wall
Echoed screams to answer the call
Phony outstretched grins to mask weary hearts
Motion sickness from too many false starts
Im surely a fool for sticking around
This jellied foundation has run aground
With loosened reigns, lifes run amok
Its raining blows, no time to duck
Stripped down to bare bones, left exposed
Yes versus no when you proposed
A simple answer was inconclusive
Barely newsworthy, yet its exclusive
Like sitting ducks waiting to be hunted
Or a midgets growth which has been stunted
Its over before it started-
Like the sea we should be parted.
Copyright ©
hauntedscorp
... [
2010-09-06 08:19:45]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Sitting Ducks
(User Rating: 1 )
by cashfan1 on
Monday, 6th September 2010 @ 11:36:40 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| This is a well constructed piece of writing. I found this very readable, well done. |
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Re: Sitting Ducks
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 6th September 2010 @ 03:44:42 PM AEST
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Thought provoking.
Good work.
Blessings,
emy |
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Re: Sitting Ducks
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 7th September 2010 @ 12:31:40 AM AEST
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I think this sort of scares me because I know you. about all I got to say here. Gonna message the rest.
Oh yeah, but definitely the emotion is conveyed with this one.  |
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Re: Sitting Ducks
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 8th September 2010 @ 05:11:59 AM AEST
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A very sad piece of writing, well executed.
Take care,
Phil |
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Re: Sitting Ducks
(User Rating: 1 )
by jyssvw22 on
Friday, 10th September 2010 @ 08:09:01 PM AEST
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great job with this one
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Re: Sitting Ducks
(User Rating: 1 )
by TsunamiWaverider on
Sunday, 19th September 2010 @ 07:02:22 PM AEST
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"Or a midget’s growth which has been stunted"
Which "HAS TO BE" stunted?? It IS stunted ...THAT'S WHY THEY ARE MIDGETS!
Nothing sadder than someone who 'settles' for inappropriate terminology!
Vote 2/5 |
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Re: Sitting Ducks
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Monday, 4th October 2010 @ 12:06:23 PM AEST
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Hi Scorp,
I like the way tou tie he title of the poem together in the last stanpa i really like the fourth stanza. It seems to center in on one's vulnerablkity ....Stripped to our nakedness.
I enjoyes th;is write very much
Will |
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Re: Sitting Ducks
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Wednesday, 14th May 2014 @ 01:36:10 PM AEST
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a Message)
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vary sad, desolate, life out of ones control, we all
feel it sometimes, the desperation, this has
excellent imagery and is beautifully expressed,
hugs n' love nessa |
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