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When the ash came
Contributed by
blueeyedevil13
on
Friday, 10th September 2010 @ 12:10:16 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
she laughed before the moment turned into a cliche and afterwards thought she was special made everyone it believe too
she thought she danced in ash truly she had no knowledge of what burned in a fire or in a heart she thought she scattered the darkness with her smile but yellow teeth do nothing except instigate the hope for a darker night
and when the ash truly came down she learned of fire her eyes burned with water flailing about she searched even yellow teeth would do now but no one else would admit the moment happened so they drowned in its wake with their mouths closed tight.
it was right below the sunshine that broken window, the one that let the ash in. when everyone came to look their feet left footprints of soot that led out the door of the girls heart so that everyone could see and follow
the girl built a boat out of that unknowing monument to death and the dead parts of her heart she shed her old skin used it as sail and sailed away on the sea of their denial and taboo
she sailed to find the land where everything is what it isnt and isnt what it is because it couldnt be what it is and could be what it isnt there the branches would snap instead of her neck
silly girl, that world is not for you youre too old to believe in such nonsense and too young to understand why the ash is falling. so she sailed back to the land where buzzards sat on the groaning branches of monumental trees like malevolent spirits reminding her of the silence.
Copyright ©
blueeyedevil13
... [
2010-09-10 00:10:16] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: When the ash came
(User Rating: 1 ) by TsunamiWaverider on
Friday, 10th September 2010 @ 12:26:04 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Ummm........ash? Was i correct?
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Re: When the ash came
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Friday, 10th September 2010 @ 08:59:21 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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A curious poem. Such a vast array of images, concepts, emotions and metaphors. probably my favorite sliver was:
'she shed her old skin
used it as sail
and sailed away
on the sea of their denial
and taboo'
-Phil
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Re: When the ash came
(User Rating: 1 ) by northernlights on
Saturday, 11th September 2010 @ 12:26:14 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Fascinating write I may be completely wrong but I see the abuse of a young heart by many causing it to break leaving a trail of ashes as innocence is burnt by desire, well written as it makes me want to read it again, a real depth of description and sensitivity,leaves me with an overwhelming sadness. |
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Re: When the ash came
(User Rating: 1 ) by pinkunicornoctober on
Friday, 17th September 2010 @ 09:35:28 AM AEST (User
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I saw an abused girl. Whether she's heart-broken, physically abused, or sexually I'm not sure. Maybe all...the yellow teeth part kinda made me think of an old nasty pervert. Great Job! |
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