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When the ash came
Contributed by
blueeyedevil13
on
Friday, 10th September 2010 @ 12:10:16 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
she laughed before the moment
turned into a cliche
and afterwards thought she was special
made everyone it believe too
she thought she danced in ash
truly she had no knowledge of what burned
in a fire or in a heart
she thought she scattered the darkness
with her smile
but yellow teeth do nothing
except instigate
the hope for a darker night
and when the ash truly came down
she learned of fire
her eyes burned with water
flailing about she searched
even yellow teeth would do now
but no one else
would admit
the moment happened
so they drowned in its wake
with their mouths closed tight.
it was right below the sunshine
that broken window,
the one that let the ash in.
when everyone came to look
their feet left footprints
of soot
that led out the door
of the girls heart
so that everyone could see
and follow
the girl built a boat
out of that unknowing monument to death
and the dead parts of her heart
she shed her old skin
used it as sail
and sailed away
on the sea of their denial
and taboo
she sailed to find the land
where everything is what it isnt
and isnt what it is
because it couldnt be what it is
and could be what it isnt
there the branches would snap
instead of her neck
silly girl, that world is not for you
youre too old to believe
in such nonsense
and too young to understand
why the ash is falling.
so she sailed back
to the land where buzzards
sat on the groaning branches
of monumental trees
like malevolent spirits
reminding her of the silence.
Copyright ©
blueeyedevil13
... [
2010-09-10 00:10:16]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: When the ash came
(User Rating: 1 )
by TsunamiWaverider on
Friday, 10th September 2010 @ 12:26:04 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Ummm........ash? Was i correct?
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Re: When the ash came
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 10th September 2010 @ 08:59:21 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
A curious poem. Such a vast array of images, concepts, emotions and metaphors. probably my favorite sliver was:
'she shed her old skin
used it as sail
and sailed away
on the sea of their denial
and taboo'
-Phil
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Re: When the ash came
(User Rating: 1 )
by northernlights on
Saturday, 11th September 2010 @ 12:26:14 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Fascinating write I may be completely wrong but I see the abuse of a young heart by many causing it to break leaving a trail of ashes as innocence is burnt by desire, well written as it makes me want to read it again, a real depth of description and sensitivity,leaves me with an overwhelming sadness. |
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Re: When the ash came
(User Rating: 1 )
by pinkunicornoctober on
Friday, 17th September 2010 @ 09:35:28 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| I saw an abused girl. Whether she's heart-broken, physically abused, or sexually I'm not sure. Maybe all...the yellow teeth part kinda made me think of an old nasty pervert. Great Job! |
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