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Alone by the Swings
Contributed by
pinkunicornoctober
on
Tuesday, 28th September 2010 @ 06:35:39 AM in AEST
Topic:
StoryPoetry
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It was so cold outside, The snow was falling, My phone was ringing, My mama was calling me. She said you had been thinking of us, I got in my truck and I had to cuss, Because you left me alone last Spring, In the park by the swings, Now I'm not sure why, I'm laughing when all I want to do is cry- Just to see your face, It would mess up everything. I've been doing so good, Alone with my friends, I only get sad when the day ends, I'm not the same girl, I'm someone else, But even you know, I need that for myself. I hadn't thought about you in so long, Now everything I have accomplished is gone. You've ruined me for good, And it's all my fault, I should say "Go to Hell", But I'd rather not, So I'll let you use me, And we'll see what it brings, But I'm pretty sure I'll once again, Be alone by the swings next spring...
Copyright ©
pinkunicornoctober
... [
2010-09-28 06:35:39] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Alone by the Swings
(User Rating: 1 ) by Lonewolf20 on
Tuesday, 28th September 2010 @ 09:33:44 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Very emotional and charging, sadness with a tint of anger, good energy. nice |
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Re: Alone by the Swings
(User Rating: 1 ) by chrisdavid on
Tuesday, 28th September 2010 @ 12:44:28 PM AEST (User
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Nice stuff. You write 'I should say Go to Hell but I'd rather not', meaning you know you shouldn't see him again but you cannot help yourself, despite knowing the likely outcome. Anyway, you wouldn't say 'Go to Hell' to anyone would you?!! You too nice!!
Take care, Chris. |
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Re: Alone by the Swings
(User Rating: 1 ) by JenVT on
Wednesday, 29th September 2010 @ 05:02:48 AM AEST (User
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I love the rhythm of your poem. Very impressive. |
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