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Written on a Napkin
Contributed by
JohnnyFallen
on
Sunday, 14th November 2010 @ 07:23:48 PM in AEST
Topic:
MiscPoems
|
The sun falls
Stars shine the sky
The moon calls
Time to slumber
Sleep, sleep, sleep
Thoughts penetrate
Dreams infiltrate
Sleep, sleep, sleep
The sun arises
Rays shine the sky
The moon stays
Time to awake.
Copyright ©
JohnnyFallen
... [
2010-11-14 19:23:48]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Written on a Napkin
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Sunday, 14th November 2010 @ 10:13:37 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Welcome to YPDC.
I've written on a napkin more than once.
I'd describe this as sleepy.
Good work.
blessings,
emy
I've found over the years if you don't capture it when it flows you loose it forever. |
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Re: Written on a Napkin
(User Rating: 1 )
by Mice on
Monday, 15th November 2010 @ 12:41:09 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I really like it
the words
especially
"Thoughts penetrate
Dreams infiltrate"
and the entire structure is really soothing |
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Re: Written on a Napkin
(User Rating: 1 )
by jamesatteb on
Monday, 15th November 2010 @ 04:13:26 PM AEST
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a Message)
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i agree with them,it does flow smoothly and it does soothe.
to me it sounds like the end of a busy day
night falls and your thoughts are still there infiltrating your dreams then disappearing
until its time to arise and do it all over again.
(my interpretation anyway) lol
very nicely done !! :) |
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