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IT HURTS
Contributed by
Aworldofemotions
on
Thursday, 23rd December 2010 @ 09:20:26 PM in AEST
Topic:
Grief
|
The sun is shinning
For no good reason
Her daughter is crying
For a senseless reason
This moron was drinking
During the thankgiving season
What's worst is he was driving
While mother was leaving
Her world ended on that one evening
Lets murder the coward who committed this treason
But lord it hurts its hurts!
And we still go to church
She's gone she lost
And boy it hurts
No alcohol alive can quench this thirst
No feeling alive can be this worst
I scream bloody murder it hurts it hurts
Copyright ©
Aworldofemotions
... [
2010-12-23 21:20:26]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: IT HURTS
(User Rating: 1 )
by iodinelove on
Friday, 24th December 2010 @ 02:19:39 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| a suggestion: never force a rhyme. we all do it, mind, but try to recognize when you are doing it. You want the poem to be as natural as possible, if that means departing from the style your using than so be it. A poem loses so much emotion when the reader see the words as contrived. Given the appropriate choices one can make anything, no matter how false, true. |
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